From vulnerability to strength
When we look around us (in fearful reality or through TV news) we see the human world, as we have known it in our post war generation, crumbling. In this intens process, caused by human actions and natural disasters, with some suspicion that somehow both are related to some extend, a lot of suffering, killing and drama can be observed or felt. Despite this I know that humankind will eventually come out strengthend in its evolutionary path, even if the population is decimated along the way. It is a necessary and impressive evolutionary process that contains as much pain as beauty.
To explain the path we all will follow and provide some hope to those who are in the middle of fear and chaos, I can only refer to my own personal deeper experiences. The story that I am about to describe is a personal one and I have called it “the rock”. It has nothing and yet everything to do with war, dictators, uprise or power struggles. It cannot be compared with the massive destruction and problems that occur in the Middle East and Northern Africa right now yet the same processes have been faught inside me with the same intensity yet inside my own spirit rather than within a community. I will explain to you how my intense vulnerability changed into the highest level of strength instantly and that I expect the same to happen with you, human communities and in the end the entire remaining humankind.
The rock
In 1994 I was top executive in Spain for a multinational when my first daughter was born. My marriage had been struggling badly right from the beginning and was only kept alive by my upbringing that one makes promises for life. In fact I married to create a basis for the foundation of a family but for some reason my wife never felt ready for the step. In 1994 finally I became father but our relationship had deteriorated to such an extend that in 1996 we decided that it would be better for all of us, including our daughter, that we seperated. That occured at the same time that my expat contract terminated and my employer suggested a job for me somewhere in the Far East.
For the first time I was truly confronted with the personal struggle to determine the essence of life. For over 20 years I’d been working on mypersonal carreer, developing myself as a hierarchical leader within the confinement of global organizations. My education and upbringing taught me that this was the right way to go about life, that financial stability was key as well as continuous personal growth. I had felt some competitive element in comparing the carreers of my fellow university students over the years with that of my own.
Now I had a daughter of nearly two years of age and the existential choice to make to leave Spain for a next step in my carreer, somewhere far away, or to stay close to my offspring and forget about my carreer. It became clear to me that I had not become father after years of matrimonial struggle to enjoy it at 10.000 miles of distance. Since my employer had no further requirements for me in Spain I decided to leave the company. So one day in spring in 1996 I found myself with my divorce papers in my hands, packing to leave the house that was included in my expat contract and a law suite to cancel my contract. I had to help my ex-wife and child to find a place to move to and one for myself too. My daughter would stay with my wife as this was explained to me as the normal situation in a divorce. My ex had demanded that her life style should not be affected by the separation so she took the furniture and moved to a large apartment with a large monthly sum of money to be supplied by me. I did not want to live too close to her as my feelings were hurt but not too far away because of my desired relationship with my daughter.
In the process of looking for a small studio to move to myself I drove through the countryside outside Madrid when my personal sadness became somehow intensified. A lot of important, for me unpredented decisions had been taken, all in a short span of time. As I drove further away from Madrid the consequences of those decisions also became more and more evident. I left behind a wife, a child, a job, an income, a future, a house……an entire life!
My suffering became so intens that I could not drive anymore. I found a place to park the car and walked into the countryside. I was looking for a place that no one could see me in the macho land and sat down on a large rock in the field. I cried and cried.
I felt so lonely, so lost, so vulnerable, so hurt. I had lost everything, I had left it all behind. My mind and soul was black, tormented with self pitty, hate, angre, dispare and sorrow. I blamed the world, my wife, myself, everything and everyone. I screamed, hit the rock with my hands and feet, and cried even more. What was I going to do? My life was suddenly so empty, so insignificant, such a waste. I felt so weak, so poor, such a failure.
After what appeared a lifetime, even though I had no notion of time at all, I felt tired. The curtain of tears had tried up and my head was heavy, my body hurt, when suddenly I noticed something strange. I became aware of the intense blue of a lake in front of me. I had not even seen the lake before but now it caught my attention very strongly. Wow, that blue! I opened my eyes a bit more and felt some kind of strange joy and energy enter my soul. That blue was so beautiful! I couldn’t believe that I had not seen that before! My heart felt with some strange errotic feeling of love as my eyes now concentrated on the intense olive green of the vegetation on the hills. On the other side of the lake the castle of El Escorial was bathing in sunlight and the sky had no clouds. A fish jumped out of the water and created rings, an eagle circled the blue sky and it was warm on that rock. I couldn’t believe how happy I suddenly felt, I could cry of joy and intense happiness.
I realised that everything I needed to continu my life was sitting on that rock! I had experienced the deepest sorrow and most intense happiness right there on that stone in the countryside. I had gone through a process of attachedmet to old values, the pain of letting go, voluntarily and emotionally, to come out finally a new person. I had let go of the material world to open up to the spiritual world, the world of intense being. This was totally new to me. I now became aware that the circle was complete, my eyes and my heart had opened to a new life. A life where the caring and loving is much more important than the having. On that rock I had everything I needed in life and I discovered my purpose. A purpose that was addressed to contribute value to my surroundings, to help, guide and assist whenever my attention is demanded.
My vulnerability had brought me in contact with my authentic inner strength, my individual connection with the energic world of the universe, and my mission. Whenever I now need to make a choice I just think of that rock that I left behind and that has become the ancor of my life. My choices, no matter how complex are always in the light of the beauty of our connection with our surroundings, humans and nature, with a mission of preservation and sustainable progress. In that now I find permanent joy and motivation.
After a second similar experience seven years later, again nearly two years after the birth of my second daughter I had learned the lesson definitely. Now I am father of two daugthers, take care of them as a single parent and go through a servant lifestyle addressing the huge problems of the world with determination, cooperation and purpose with all those who have stepped off their own rock and join me in the process of addressing the true beauty of life.
Eat crap or die
Or transform…
The food crisis is soaring through the world and western societies hardly know about it. Why? Because we eat processed food! That means that our menu consists of a few percent of true food and the rest is additives, i.e. crap. This makes economies more stable because the inflation in the supermarkets is connected to the amount of inexpensive crap it contains.
Meanwhile the inflation in regions around the world that depend entirely on the basic commodoties, s.a. rice, wheat, oil, sugar….see an inflation of 100% to 400% in just 10 years. Their income has not grown at all due to the financial crisis around the world that got speculants work harder at the expense of the poor. Those who eat real food die of hunger because they cannot afford it.
Economic unrest is already enormous as the costs for society of the unreal lifestyle of the West is becoming a huge burden driving up speculation even more to finance it. Certain additives to our food have now proven to produce sensitivity to mental, psychological, physical and behavioral disorder. Overall it results in the negative evolution of human kind. We grow older, sicker, fatter, unhappier, more aggressive and intolerant due to our lifestyle. In fact we grow more stupid and insensitive.
In a world full of discussion about sustainable progress these are not exactly the best conditions for action. Half of the human world is growing more idiot while the other half is so poor they either die or can’t have a voice. Where does human intellect come in? Or the Darwinist survival of the fittest? Or my own phylosophy of the survival of the most adaptive? Can we still turn this disaster around or are we eliminating ourselves from this planet in a significant way?
On an individual level I see many people who develop consciousness and willingness to modify their life style, despite the pressure on them by the current social systems. On entrepreneurial level I see many creative people willing to produce true value for humankind and our planet. On political and banking level I see important power positions trying to remain in place with here and there across the globe important signs of uproar but not yet enough to break through the world of greed and selfish idiocy.
Recent social media discussions only show desperate people who just want a decent life and get fed up with crisis after crisis.
14 disturbing facts: http://www.prisonplanet.com/food-crisis-2011-14-disturbing-facts-that-make-you-wonder-if-the-coming-global-food-shortage-has-already-begun.html
Food prices hit all time high: http://www.businessinsider.com/un-food-prices-2011-1
Life as usual the coming years will be challenged time after time again until we truly modify our behavior and world organization. We NEED to transform while we can or soon we will be throwing bricks, stones and bullets at each other.
Now it is up to you. Eat crap, die or transform.
I have made my choice long time ago.
Mobility, Economy & Mentality
Since the 80’s the amount of cars that populate the world’s roads have exponentially grown to well over 1 billion. This has been for decades an important economic drive as a new car contains a number of taxes while its usage requires yet again a large amount of costs (energy, insurance, roadtax, parking, repairs and maintenance) as well as public investments (road infrastructures, energy and parking facilities, etc). It is not a surprise that the car industry and public mentality around the status and luxury of having and using such device are all key for modern financial household of society. The individual and collective dependence on the car is beyond dispute.
The size now of the car population however also has its counter effects. The growth demanded the increase of infrastructure, destroying along the way our landscape. For some this was justified by the formentioned economic dependence on the system but others started to complain. Landscape is important for other key elements of our human organization. The amount of cars polute so much through emision of fine particals (PM 2,5 and PM 10) that it has become a serious health hazard. The air polution affects long and heart problems which have become a mayor social cost. Children that grow up in high polution areas show also psychological disorders which affect the potential of living a decent, productive life.
Another issue that has become dramatically significant is the dependence of the automotive world on fossil energy which is rapidly running out. Fossil fuels are highly polutant and finite, creating a urgent need for transformation of the sector.
When we look at the property and usage of cars studies reveal that many families have two cars, one for the labor related travel requirements and the other for the short distance, i.e. for shopping, taking the kids to school or sproting activities, etc. The ease of having a vehical parked nearby for immediate use is of such importance to people now that the increase of costs of property and usage does not affect this sense of luxury and need. People rather modify their nutrician than that they get rid of the car(s). In some regions we see an increase at the end of the month of usage of public transportation because one cannot afford petrol anymore until the next pay cheque comes in. Then the car is back in usage until cash again runs out.
Many innovative solutions on individualised and collective mobility have been invented to overcome some or even all of the negative issues related to the cars. But these have difficulty breaking through due to the deeply engrained mentality around the usage of a car. We did a study recently asking people in the city what would be needed to get them to get rid of their car?
Interestingly 80% of the respondants would be willing to eliminate the car out of their lives but not just like that. They would do so if:
* all their daily needs were nearby. Even in cities we do not have that luxury because of the centralization processes of last many decades. We created huge malls where one can find any and everything but one needs a car to go there. So even in cities it is difficult to find everything nearby.
* there would be reliable, cheap, trusworthy alternatives available. That is also an issue. Certain cities have invested in a well oiled public transportation system and additional public services. In those cities you see a large population of people who do not have a car anymore. But most cities and countries have deficiant alternative solutions leaving the public without a choice. Taxi’s run on petrol or gas too and polute equally as cars. So if alternatives are introduced and organized they at least have to solve not only the ownership issue but also social and environmental issues.
We can conclude that mobility is key for productivity in any economy but mobility as it is today is also a mayor hazard and cost for society and environment. The challenge is to bring all back into a sustainable balance. This requires technological innovation and rethinking the system but also addressing the mentality of our users. If you want to take away or discourage the commodity of a car one will have to replace it with an even better option. When one achieves this a whole new world market lies ahead.
